Mea Culpa
by OcelotKitten
Summary: Severus and Hermione Apparate back to Hogwarts after a Death Eater meeting. WIP
1. Return to Hogwarts

Summary: Severus and Hermione Apparate back to Hogwarts after a Death Eater meeting.

Author's Notes: Single quotes denote Sev's thoughts. This story was very strongly inspired by Ramos' "Hinge of Fate". I strongly suggest reading it if you haven't already.

Rating: R for descriptions of torture using the Unforgivables and rape and possible foul language

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, I just love messing with them.

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Mea Culpa

By OcelotKitten

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The first gust of cold wind cut straight through Severus and he couldn't suppress a shiver. That was the one part he'd always hated about Apparating in winter. The sudden change in temperature was never pleasant. He cast a quick glance at the girl next to him.

'Not a girl, a woman. She's earned at least that much from you.'

Hermione was shivering as well, and it was small wonder. She should have been shivering from the night's events alone. The bitter wind was merely insult to injury.

He shrugged out of his cloak and settled it across her shoulders. She tensed for a moment, as if to reject it and Severus held his breath, but she subsided, drawing the heavy fabric tighter around herself. His Death Eater robes now his only scanty protection against the cold, Severus shivered again.

The sight of the long front drive of the school suddenly making him aware of the exhaustion dragging at his limbs, Severus thought longingly of his dungeons and his bed. 'Time enough for that later.' Eyeing the long walk from the gates to the school, he offered to her, "It is a long way, Miss Granger. I could carry you."

Hermione straightened, visibly making an effort to compose herself, "No. I can walk."

Severus had his doubts about that, but he kept his own counsel, instead offering his arm for support, wondering if she would want to touch him after what had happened. 'It's miracle enough she can even stand to be near me.'

She tucked her cold hand into the crook of his elbow and they started up the winding drive together, her steps occasionally faltering. Severus was tempted on more than one occasion to simply lift her, but he knew that she needed to reclaim this small bit of control over her life.

At last, they reached the great doors, and from there it was a shorter, but no less torturous journey to the Hospital Wing. Severus was grateful that it was so late. The last thing he wanted was to deal with the inevitable rumors that would arise if the Gryffindor Head Girl was seen being escorted through the halls by the Head of Slytherin, and he rather suspected that Hermione would feel the same.

When they finally reached the Infirmary, Severus glanced at her. She seemed to be holding up remarkably well, he reflected as he pushed the doors open. However, an impending meltdown was evident in the paleness of her face, the faint trembling of her hands, and the tight, drawn line of her mouth.

Dumbledore and Pomfrey were already waiting for them. Snape's lip curled involuntarily at the unwelcome sight of Harry and Ron standing behind the Headmaster. With a small gasp of shock at Hermione's appearance, Poppy hurried forward and bustled her to a bed as Dumbledore approached Severus.

Suddenly bereft of the only thing that had been keeping him moving, Severus was suddenly aware of how tired he was, and just how much every inch of him hurt. He simply stood for a moment, staring blankly at the floor until Albus laid a gentle hand on his arm and guided him to a chair. Severus sank down onto it gratefully, leaning back and closing his eyes for a moment.

When he opened his eyes again, he found Dumbledore watching him, his blue eyes showing none of their usual twinkle. Instead, they were filled with concern and Severus was unable to meet that quietly searching gaze. Ignoring Harry and Ron standing behind the Headmaster, he said quietly, "Albus, we have a rather large problem."

"What happened tonight, Severus?"

Snape was prevented from answering by the sudden reappearance of Madam Pomfrey. She hurried over to Albus and Severus giving Harry and Ron a disapproving look before glancing questioningly at Dumbledore.

"It is quite all right, Poppy," he said, "Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley have just as much right as I do to know whatever you have found out about Miss Granger."

"Very well, Albus," the medi-witch sniffed, "Miss Granger appears to be unharmed for the most part, save for minor bruising and that she seems to be suffering from shock." She cast the two Gryffindors a reproachful glance and lowered her voice as if to exclude them, "She is also bleeding from complete transection of her hymen and forced entry."

Severus, having already known this, was able to watch the reactions of the other three. Dumbledore merely looked sadly resigned, as if the thing he had dreaded and known better than to hope wouldn't happen, had come to pass. Snape allowed himself a small smirk of derision at the looks of puzzlement on the faces of the two younger Gryffindors.

Ron simply looked baffled, but Harry's expression was swiftly shifting to dawning realization. His green eyes narrowed in rage as he snarled, "You bastard! You were supposed to protect her!"

Ron stared at him, still confused, "Harry, what . . .?"

"Think about it, Ron," Harry said, angrily, not looking away from Severus, "Hermione was raped."

The sudden look of comprehension on the red-head's face was almost pitiful, and he looked nauseous. Harry took a menacing step towards his teacher, fury written in every line of his young face. He growled, "Why didn't you protect her, Snape? So help me . . ."

"That is quite enough, Harry!" Dumbledore stated, coming between them. He gave the young Gryffindor a piercing look, "I'm sure Severus did everything he could to help Hermione, and I for one would like to hear what actually happened before you try to hex him into oblivion."

Harry grudgingly stepped back, the respect he had for the old Headmaster overriding his anger. Albus looked back to the Potions Master, "Severus?"

"I do not think that it is appropriate for them to be here, Albus," Snape said, only partly feigning irritability. 'Anything to stop them from knowing what I'm really capable of. Their hatred will know no bounds then.'

"Severus," Albus said, a touch impatiently, "I've already stated where I stand on that."

"Yeah, Snape," Harry said, almost tauntingly, "Let's hear it. Tell me why you couldn't protect Hermione when you swore you would."

Snape's fist clenched in anger and for a moment, he was sorely tempted to strike that sneering face. 'Another sin to add to the night's tally. Breaking the nose of the Boy Who Lived.'

With effort, he restrained himself and said, bitterly, "Oh, yes, let me finally, thoroughly earn your vilification of me." He stared coldly at Harry, "You want the whole story, Potter? Then you shall have it."

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AN: I know I've left you with a bit of a cliffhanger. *evil grin* The chapter ended so well there. Next chapter will be the recounting, and I'll hopefully have it posted within the week.

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	2. Summoned

*earlier that evening*

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Severus was grading seventh-year papers when his left arm flared with the all too familiar pain of the Dark Mark activating. Grimacing, he struggled to his feet, automatically going to the locked cupboard where he kept his Death Eater robes and mask. Suddenly, the voice of Voldemort seared across his mind through the link of the Dark Mark.

The sibilant voice was disgustingly conversational, "Good evening, Severus, I trust I find you well? There will be a Revel tonight at the Malfoy Manor, and you have the honor of acquiring the entertainment for our little get-together. Bring Potter's mudblood friend. We can make use of her."

Voldemort's mad laugh crawled through his head, "Since I have no doubt that that old fool of a Headmaster will be reluctant to part with one of his precious students, you are granted an extra hour to persuade him. Do not be late."

The Dark Lord cackled and withdrew, leaving Severus feeling nauseous. Mechanically, he shrank the robe and mask and dropped them into his pocket. He had left his office and was halfway down the hall to Dumbledore's before he'd realized it.

'I can't do this . . .'

Numbly, he ascended the stairs outside the Headmaster's office and knocked on the office door. He heard Dumbledore call "Enter!" and pushed the door open.

Albus was seated behind his desk, and he looked up from his papers with a smile to greet Severus. The smile faded however as he saw the look on his Potions Master's face. "Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked simply.

Severus sank down into the plush chair in front of Dumbledore's desk, rubbing his left arm absently, "I have an hour before I must Apparate."

Dumbledore's white brow furrowed in confusion, "He's never done that before."

"He believes I will need it to convince you to allow me to bring tonight's . . . entertainment," he bit out the word, "I've been directed to bring Hermione Granger."

To Dumbledore's credit, the only outward sign of his shock was a slight widening of his blue eyes. He asked, "What do you propose we do?"

Severus gave a small snort of humorless laughter, "My options are rather limited, Albus. I can either go to him and be killed for failing to follow orders as he made abjectly clear would happen, or I can ignore the summons and let the Mark drive me mad."

"You do have a third option, Severus," Dumbledore said, softly. Snape looked up in confusion before he realized what Dumbledore meant. "No, Albus!" he snapped, "How can you even suggest it? I won't do it."

"I do not relish the idea of losing you, Severus. I am not condoning this, but it is our only option that does not result in your death . . ."

"Better that I die than . . ."

"Severus, damn it, listen to me and think for a moment! If Voldemort wishes you to convince me to let Miss Granger go, then he will not kill her or injure her in any obvious manner. Since you will be there, you will have some measure of control over what does happen to her."

Severus ran an hand over his face and shook his head, "Albus, there has got to be another way . . ." He was interrupted by the sound of the door being flung open, and he twisted around in his chair in time to see Harry, Hermione and Ron stop dead at the sight of him.

"Harry," Dumbledore asked, "what is it?"

The sound of the Headmaster's voice startled Harry out of his shock at seeing Snape and he turned to Dumbledore, "Professor, I think Voldemort is planning something."

"Indeed?" Dumbledore gestured for the three of them to sit down. They did so, sitting as far away from Snape as they could. Harry said, "Yes, sir. We were in the Gryffindor common room and my scar started burning. I got the feeling Voldemort was very pleased about something that was going to happen tonight."

"I am not surprised, Harry," Dumbledore said quietly, "You see, Professor Snape and I were just discussing the very same thing."

"Albus . . ." Severus started warningly and Dumbledore silenced him with a look. "They have a right to know, Severus," he said sharply, "Miss Granger in particular." Snape subsided resentfully and Dumbledore looked back to the three Gryffindors, "It is my belief that the three of you deserve to know of this because it concerns one of you."

He paused, "Professor Snape has been summoned by Voldemort tonight and he has been directed to supply entertainment for the Death Eaters. Voldemort specifically ordered him to bring you, Miss Granger."

The three students gave identical gasps of shock as Dumbledore went on, "I believe that Voldemort would not kill you, nor would he have you overtly harmed since he would not want me to suspect Severus of still being in his services."

Hermione raised her hand tentatively and Severus gave a soft snort of amusement. 'Here we are talking about God knows what happening to her, and she still behaves as if she's in class.' Albus looked sharply at him before acknowledging her, "Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Professor Snape, if you ignore the summons, what will happen?"

'Why do you care what happens to me?' He said, bluntly, "The Mark will either drive me mad with pain and then kill me or render me as good as dead." She was silent for a moment, thinking hard. Finally, she nodded resolutely and took a steadying breath, "I'll do it."

There was a sudden burst of noise as Ron and Harry both gave identical cries of dismay. "'Mione, you can't!" Ron burst out, horrified.

"And why can't I?" she asked pointedly, "I'm eighteen, I can make my own decisions." She glanced quickly at Snape who was trying desperately not to allow any of the maelstrom of emotions rippling through him to show on his face. She looked back at Dumbledore and said firmly, "I'll do it, Professor."

'Damned, foolhardy, stubborn Gryffindor bravery. Why is she doing this? Why should she care whether the Mark kills me or not?'

"Very well, Hermione," Dumbledore said, suddenly looking very, very old. He stood and the rest of them followed suit. Harry pleaded with her, "'Mione, think about what you're doing."

"Harry, you're always doing what you have to in order to stop Voldemort." She glanced at Snape, "Now it is my turn to do what I can to ensure we don't lose one of our best hopes for winning this war."

Harry seemed unable to think of anything to say, and indeed, Snape was speechless as well though he tried not to show it. He gave himself a mental shake and held out a hand to her, "Miss Granger, if you would come with me."

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AN: I hope everyone's enjoying it so far. Next chapter will be the Dark Revel.


	3. The Dark Revel

Author's Notes: My thanks to those of you who have reviewed. I hope you're enjoying this as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Those of you who are awaiting updates on my previous stories, please go and read the note on my profile page if you haven't already.

Lellie - Thanks for complimenting my spelling and grammar, I pride myself on it. As to your complaint about not being able to Apparate to Hogwarts, I'm a bit chagrined. I tried to make it clear that Severus and Hermione didn't Apparate onto the grounds, but rather outside the gates. Terribly sorry.

Small warning: This chapter is where the rating is earned for a smattering of strong language, descriptions of torture by Cruciatus and Imperio induced rape.

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Dumbledore, Harry and Ron accompanied them to the main doors. The Gryffindors were uncharacteristically silent, but when they reached the doors, Harry pinned Snape with a glare, "You'd better bring her back safely, Snape." Severus simply returned his stare and said nothing.

Albus laid a fatherly hand on Hermione's shoulder and peered over the top of his half-moon spectacles at her, "I would be hard-pressed to put your safety in more capable hands, Miss Granger."

Severus could tell that Harry and Ron were dying to add their own opinions to that, and he cleared his throat impatiently. He opened the door and said, "It is time, Miss Granger."

Hermione quickly hugged Harry, Ron and Dumbledore before following Severus out into the cold. They walked in silence to the edge of the grounds and when they reached the end of the drive, Severus donned his Death Eater robes.

Hermione's eyes widened, and Severus thought that it was at the sight of him in Death Eater garb, but she drew her wand and said, "I almost forgot." She tapped her belly and murmured a simple charm. Severus stared at her incredulously as she put her wand away. 'I don't give you enough credit, Miss Granger.'

Noticing his look, she said self-consciously, "What? It was only a Contraceptus Charm." He shook his head, putting the silver mask on, "I'm surprised that you retained enough presence of mind to think of it."

A sudden thought seemed to occur to her as Severus rolled back his sleeve, baring his left forearm and the Dark Mark, and she paled, "Professor, will Voldemort . . . participate?"

"I doubt it. The Dark Lord is a natural voyeur and he much prefers to watch. It is very rare that he deigns to join." He paused and looked at her seriously. "I won't insult your intelligence by telling you it will all turn out all right, Miss Granger," he said softly, "But I will tell you that I will do everything within my power to get you through this."

She nodded and he held out his arm, instructing, "Place your hand over the Mark." She hesitated only a moment before settling her trembling hand over the ugly snake and skull inscribed on the pale flesh of his inner arm.

Severus activated the Mark and felt the familiar sudden pull of Apparation. He heard Hermione gasp though he couldn't see her beyond the tornado of indistinct color that surrounded them. The swirl lasted only a moment before resolving into the lawn outside Malfoy Manor.

Hermione looked slightly nauseated and Severus cautioned her, "Try and compose yourself as much as you can." She nodded and squared her shoulders, taking a steadying breath. They approached the door and it swung open to admit them.

A cowering house elf dressed in a pillowcase toga greeted Severus, completely ignoring Hermione, "Master Severus, Master Lucius is having Poky show you to the dining hall."

Giving the little creature a curt nod, Severus followed it. They passed room after opulently appointed room and Severus allowed himself a sneer of distaste behind the mask. Lucius gloried in disgustingly decadent displays of wealth, and Severus had long since grown weary of it.

At last, they reached the dining hall and Poky bowed to them once more before vanishing with a pop. Severus glanced quickly at Hermione and opened the door. The stench of firewhiskey mingled with sweat immediately assailed him.

Most of the Death Eaters scattered around the hall were already either drunk or well on their way. Harsh laughter filled the room and huddled masses of cloaks dotted the floor, moving rhythmically. 'Apparently I'm not the only one to bring entertainment tonight.'

Severus shuddered, not wanting to think about what he knew was going on under those cloaks. Some of the more depraved Death Eaters loved to abduct Muggles and savage them in any manner of ways.

A shrill voice floated through the haze drifting across the opposite end of the hall and interrupted his thoughts, "Ah, Severus! You're early." Severus moved forward, pushing Hermione ahead of him. He stopped in front of Voldemort's throne-like chair and bowed, "My lord."

The Dark Lord's reptilian eyes glittered coldly, "I see you've done as directed. Excellent." He paused and drew his wand with a cold smile, "However, we must attend to first things first." Severus watched with a dull apathy as Voldemort pointed the wand at him.

"Crucio."

Sharp fire shot through Snape's body and he fell heavily to his knees. Through the haze of pain and the roaring in his ears, Severus heard Hermione's strangled cry of horror. He gritted his teeth, choking back a scream of pain as wave after wave of agony shot through him.

He heard the jeering taunts of the Death Eaters and prayed that Voldemort was in a good mood tonight and would end the curse quickly. When the Dark Lord was in a particularly ruthless mood, he would draw the torture out over extended periods, always stopping just short of the point when the curse would have destroyed Snape's mind.

Luck was with him tonight and as suddenly as it had come, the pain was gone and Severus lay huddled on the floor, fighting his spasming lungs for breath. He struggled to his feet and Voldemort smiled cruelly, "Now that that's out of the way." He addressed the crowd, "My Death Eaters, we have an interesting prize this evening. Albus Dumbledore's prize pupil."

Voldemort's slit-eyed gaze bored into each of them, "Some of you will have the pleasure of . . . playing with her tonight. There is, however, one stipulation. No visible marks must be left. It would not do for Dumbledore to suspect Severus of still being in my service." He rubbed scaly hands together with a sound like sandpaper, "Now, who would like to have her first?"

Drawing breath against the dull pain still burning through him, Severus said, "Allow me to have her first, my lord."

Voldemort leered at Hermione, "Did you fancy her in your classes, Snape?" He waved a hand negligently, "Go ahead."

Severus grabbed Hermione's arm as gently as he dared and dragged her to a secluded corner. Pushing her against the wall, he leaned down to whisper harshly in her ear, "We are now playing a deadly game, Miss Granger. Go along with it, or both our lives are likely forfeit."

He could feel her trembling, but she nodded once. Seizing her shirt, he gave a swift jerk and ripped it down the middle. 

He froze as Voldemort's hissing voice interrupted, "Severus, why don't you bring her out here where we can all appreciate your talents?"

Keeping Hermione pressed against the wall, Severus said, "A quick grope in the corner is all mudbloods are good for, my lord. She's not worthy of my skills."

"Don't fancy a fuck with a mudblood, Severus?" Malfoy laughed drunkenly.

"You know perfectly well that I don't, Lucius," Severus said coolly, hoping they would simply leave him alone.

Voldemort laughed harshly, "Ah, but Severus, you don't have a choice in the matter. I've just thought of an even better entertainment and a valuable reinforcement lesson for you."

'No, God. Please!'

Voldemort twitched his wand at Severus again.

"Imperio!"

All conscious thought fled, leaving Severus feeling pleasantly empty. One small corner of his mind remained just aware enough to be horrified at what he knew was going to happen next. He started to fight before he realized that he couldn't even put up the barest resistance without giving himself away.

'Hermione, forgive me . . .'

"Takehertakehertakeher . . ." Voldemort's hissed commands filled his mind and Severus seized Hermione, pulling her back over in front of Voldemort's throne, helpless in the grip of the curse and the need to preserve his subterfuge.

He tore off his mask to kiss her roughly as he dragged her to the floor and the watching Death Eaters cheered and shouted lewd suggestions. Hermione struggled against him, terror plain on her face.

Severus tried to communicate to her with his eyes his unwillingness to do this to her, but he feared all that showed was the characteristic blankness of the Imperius. Voldemort shifted his litany to crude and lascivious suggestions and Severus was unable to do anything but obey. Shoving her skirt up to her waist, he tore her panties off in one quick motion.

His last hope had been that the horror of the situation would make him unable to respond to her and he bit down a groan of despair as his body betrayed him. Years of abstinence and Hermione's struggles ensured that within moments he was rocking instinctively against her, loathing himself for ever allowing her to put herself in danger.

Desperate to do anything to allow the inevitable to be easier for her, Severus tried to caress her, but Voldemort saw the movement. Through the curse, the Dark Lord wrenched his hand away and Severus nearly wept in frustration.

'Sadistic son of a bitch.'

His groan as he released himself from the confines of his trousers was taken by the onlookers to mean that his restraint had finally broken and the wolf-whistles and obscene suggestions increased tenfold.

"Make her scream, Snape!"

"If you can' do it, I got no problem fuckin' a mudblood!"

"Yer mine next, girl!"

Hermione had her eyes shut tight as if to block out what was happening, but her eyes flew open as she felt Severus push into her. He froze despite the driving grip of Imperius, appalled as the full extent of what he was doing became clear.

'Dear God, she's a virgin.'

The force of Voldemort's will reasserted itself and Severus gave a single, sharp thrust, squeezing his eyes shut in a vain attempt to block out Hermione's scream of pain. Tears fell from beneath her closed lids as Severus began to move, his one, all-consuming thought to end it as quickly as possible.

Fortunately, his long abstinence ensured that it took a pitifully short time before his back stiffened and he came with a stifled cry. The forceful imperative of the Imperio faded and Severus released her. He tucked himself back into his trousers and stood, leaving Hermione to gather what scraps of her dignity remained.

He faced Voldemort, doing his level best not to snarl at him. The Dark Lord's reptilian face was twisted into an ugly leer. "Well done, Severus," he said mockingly, "You couldn't even last five minutes." He raised his voice, "Anyone think they can last longer than Severus?"

Severus glanced quickly around the hall, noting that not a few of the others were blatantly touching themselves, staring at Hermione with undisguised lust. Thinking very quickly, he spoke, "My lord, I have a request."

Voldemort raised a bony eyebrow, "Indeed?"

"Allow me to take the mudblood back to the school. Imagine the potential if I could break her right under Dumbledore's nose."

Voldemort laughed, "Got the taste for mudblood now, do you? Very well, Snape, take the chit and go. You have a fortnight and I expect results."

Severus bowed, "Thank you, my lord." He pulled Hermione roughly to her feet, not daring to show her any gentleness now that they were so close to escape. With a final bow to Voldemort, he placed Hermione's unresisting hand over the Dark Mark and Apparated.


	4. Accusations

When Severus had finished, Harry simply stared at him, naked hatred written across his face. Abruptly, he turned and strode to Hermione's bedside, Ron hurrying behind him. Dumbledore watched them go, "Give them time, Severus. They'll come around."

"Albus," Snape said coldly, "I have never cared what those two thought of me. I am hardly going to start now." He sighed, ""I know how you feel about Obliviation, Albus, but I think in this case it might be justified."

Dumbledore started to protest, but Snape said quietly, "At least offer it . . ." Sensing that it would not be the best thing to argue, Albus nodded and moved to Hermione's side. She was lying on her back on the bed, her hollow-eyed gaze fixed on the ceiling. At Dumbledore's gentle touch on her shoulder, she looked at him, "Has Professor Snape told you what happened?"

"He has, my dear, "Dumbledore said gently, "and I must ask you, would you like for me to Obliviate you?"

She focused on him and said without hesitation, "No, I want to remember. Everything."

Dumbledore nodded and stepped back as Poppy came forward. The medi-witch handed Hermione a vial of Dreamless Sleep potion, "Here you go, dear. You'll need your sleep tonight." Hermione took the vial and drank the potion gratefully. No sooner had she handed the empty vial back to Poppy than she sank back onto the pillows, asleep.

Poppy turned to Snape, her voice stern and her expression determined, "Now, Severus, to deal with you."

"The last thing I need right now is you clucking over me like a mother hen, Poppy."

"I won't take no for an answer, Severus. Cruciatus, Imperio, and the trauma of the evening to boot? You're staying here tonight."

Severus simply crossed his arms and prepared to wait her out. Before she could continue her argument, Severus noticed Harry glaring at him. "What is it, Potter?" he snapped irritably.

"You promised to protect her." Harry's voice was a quiet, furious growl. His fists clenched until the knuckles whitened.

"I was unaware I had failed in that regard."

"You call that protecting?" Harry snarled, gesturing at Hermione's small form on the bed.

"What would you have had me do, Potter?" Snape asked, coldly, "Leave her to the tender mercies of a crowd of lecherous Death Eaters?"

"How do we know you didn't?" Harry's voice was low, but it provoked a shocked gasp from Poppy and a warning "Harry . . ." from Dumbledore. He ignored them and railed on, "How do we know you aren't lying? How do we know you didn't just let them have their way with her? How do we know you didn't rape her yourself without Imperio?"

He had advanced until he was nearly nose to nose with Snape. Dumbledore, seeking to avert a catastrophic confrontation, started, "Harry, that is . . ."

Snape interrupted, his dark eyes burning with fury, "I do not need to justify myself to you, Potter . . ."

"Oh yes you do. You promised to protect her and not only did you not protect her from the Death Eaters, you didn't even protect her from yourself!" 

"That, Harry, is quite enough!" Dumbledore broke in, "I suggest you remember that you are addressing a Hogwarts teacher. Now, I think it is time for both you and Mr. Weasley to return to Gryffindor tower."

Harry looked mutinous, but he acquiesced, leaving the Infirmary with Ron in tow. Snape watched them go, wanting to feel the usual slow burn of anger that always came after any confrontation with Potter. Instead, all he felt was aching emptiness and a bone-deep tiredness.

Poppy tried to start examining him again, but he simply shook his head and walked away. He could hear her calling after him to come back, but he paid her no heed. Leaving the ward, he started down the hall, booted footsteps echoing hollowly.

Suddenly realizing he was still wearing the Death Eater robes and holding the mask, he ripped the robes from his body as if they were on fire. Breathing hard, he closed his eyes and regained his equilibrium. Methodically, he shrank the hateful costume and dropped it into his pocket.

A sudden prickle of the hair on the back of his neck told him he was being watched and he turned to see Albus. He gave the Headmaster a silent, curt nod, and walked on, Dumbledore falling into step beside him. They walked in silence for a moment before Albus said reproachfully, "You should have let her examine you."

"Why? So I can hear again what I've heard a hundred times before? Hearing it one more time won't make any difference." His voice assumed a pedantic tone, "Nerves are starting to fail to regenerate, each successive bout of Cruciatus cripples me a little more . . ." he shook his head sharply, "As I said, hearing it one more time won't make any difference."

"Severus, I . . ."

"Albus," he said warningly, knowing what the older man was going to say, "don't."

"I cannot help but feel responsible for you, and now Miss Granger as well. I was the one who set you on this path . . ."

"And, as I've said before," Severus said impatiently, "no one set me on this path but myself. I made my choice long ago and it was not your doing. All you did was give me my only option besides Azkaban. We could go over it all another time if you really want to, but right now I am too tired for maudlin self-analysis and hindsight."

"As you wish, Severus," Albus said, mouth quirking a bit, "I'll let you get down to your dungeons then." He turned to go, but Snape's next, half-whispered words caught him back, "What kind of monster am I?"

When he turned back, Snape was already gone.

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Hermione woke to the sound of voices. Sitting up and blinking blearily, she saw Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey talking at the foot of her bed. Noticing that she was awake, Poppy immediately bustled over. "How are you feeling, dear?"

"All right, I suppose," Hermione said, stifling a yawn, "How long was I asleep?"

"It's six o'clock in the evening. You've been asleep since you got back last night." Dumbledore said, sitting down in the chair beside the bed.

"But what about . . ."

"Your teachers have been informed that you are ill. They will not be expecting you in class for several days."

"Oh." Hermione looked down, pleating the edge of the sheet nervously. Anticipating her next question, Dumbledore said, "You may stay here for as long as you may choose, but I must caution you that going back to your regular routine might be better done sooner rather than later."

Hermione nodded and said quietly, "Of course, Professor. Thank you."

Albus gave her a paternal smile and stood, "I'll leave you to your rest then." He and Pomfrey left, and Hermione let out a tense sigh. She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

It had taken more willpower than she'd known she possessed to stop herself from bursting into tears upon waking and remembering what had happened. Now that she was alone and the silence pressed in like a thick blanket, she couldn't fight back the tears anymore. Burying her face in her crossed arms, she sobbed.

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Hermione struggled, held firm in an invisible grip. Looming dark figures with silver faces flitted in and out of her field of vision, jeering and taunting obscenely, their voices as indistinct as their forms. Hissing laughter filled the smoky air.

One of the flitting shadows loomed suddenly in front of her, silver features reflecting her own terrified face, and Hermione shut her eyes, knowing what was coming next. The sudden, tearing pain ripped through her and Hermione tried to scream, producing only a whimper.

A sudden howl of agony pierced the air and Hermione's eyes snapped open. She turned her head and saw Snape writhing on the floor in the grips of Cruciatus. She fought against the invisible grip holding her immobile, desperate to reach him, frantic to do anything to stop that terrible, keening wail.

Snape gave a final scream and Hermione jerked awake, the Potions Master's anguished cry becoming her own. Strong hands still gripped her and she fought blindly, lashing out desperately. Harry's worried voice cut through her confusion, "Hermione, stop!"

She froze, and as her vision cleared, she saw that it was Ron that held her arms pinned to her sides, stopping her from lashing out. Harry stood at the foot of her bed, white-faced. She sagged and put a hand to her face, "I-I'm all right, Ron."

He let go reluctantly and moved around in front of her. "Was it a nightmare?"

She nodded, a sudden hitch in her throat from remembered terror stopping her from saying anything. She cleared her throat and asked, "What time is it?"

"About seven," Harry said, "We came here right after supper. We were only here a couple minutes before we had to wake you from the nightmare." An uncomfortable silence fell. Harry was the first to break it. "Why did you do it, Mione?" he asked quietly, his green eyes shadowed.

"Because it was the right thing to do."

"The right thing is to let yourself be taken advantage of?" he scoffed, "Forgive me if I'm a bit skeptical."

Her hackles rose, "I didn't let myself be taken advantage of! I couldn't let Professor Snape die."

"Oh, you did it for Snape?" he sneered, "How sweet. Who gives a damn whether he lives or dies?"

"Harry, he's important to the Order and you know it!"

"You just wanted to be fucked by that son of a bitch!"

His words hit her with the force of a blow, and tears prickled at the backs of her eyes. Harry immediately turned back to her, his eyes wide and panicked, "Oh God, Mione. I didn't . . ." Ron was staring at him in horror, his mouth wide open in shock.

Feeling oddly calm in spite of the hysteria threatening to claw its way out of her throat, Hermione whispered, "Please leave, Harry."

"But . . ." 

"Please."

His expression turned stormy and he spun on his heel and left. Recovering from his shock, Ron said apologetically, "I'll talk to him." He laid a friendly hand on Hermione's shoulder and said, "I'm glad you're all right, Mione."

Hermione managed a small, false smile for him, and he left. The click of the closing door was followed by silence, which was broken a moment later by the sound of her sobs.

__________

AN: For those of you wondering why Ron has been so quiet in the confrontations, I wanted to go ahead and establish how angry Harry is, so Ron faded into the background for the time being. Never fear though, he will share his opinion of the whole thing. Also, apologies for the semi-choppiness of this chapter. I wanted to get everyone situated properly for the next chapters.


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